First, They Came for the Books. Then They Came for Equity

Hanover County does it again

Once again, I attended the Hanover County Public School Board meeting. 

On the agenda for July? Dissolving the Community Equity Advisory Board, a group to which I was appointed, but in which I was never able to participate. Due to certain people complaining about the “wokeness” and unfairness of equity, the committee was placed on hold until further analysis. 

I had a bone to pick with one of the speakers last month when the board voted to unilaterally give themselves control over “deselecting,” AKA banning books. 

Here is what I said: 

Last month, you heard many citizens of Hanover tell you facts about education and the value of books, teachers, and librarians. But as we know, people don’t respond to facts. They respond to stories.

So I am going to share a story with you about how reading a book with sexual content helped me.

During the last meeting, a retired social worker spoke, making the gross assumption that all children who are molested and exposed to porn will become abusers and perverts themselves. 

What she said made me gasp out loud.

By her analogy, I’m automatically a scourge on society, simply because I survived childhood sexual assault.

But I went on to finish my public school education, graduated magna cum laude from college, and went on to my top choice for graduate school where I received my training to be a healthcare provider.

I even got married and had children. 

As far as survivors go, I think I’m the norm, not the exception.

You see, one in four women are assaulted in their lifetimes, many as children or teenagers.

When I tried to get help from the grownups in my life, my parents told me to never speak of it again. My own youth minister told me that I should ask God to forgive ME. I never got justice.

I felt so much shame for most of my young life. Church lessons in purity culture taught me that I had tempted him somehow. My JC-Penny shorts and t-shirts were too revealing on my pre-pubescent body. I must have been too nice to him and led him on, but I was just following the good-girl teachings from my church. His lustful, abusive nature was somehow my fault because boys aren’t responsible for containing their desires. And then I felt that I was only as valuable to God as a crumpled piece of paper or a chewed-up piece of gum. Actual lessons from my youth minister. 

Perhaps the real grooming happens in church. 

But you know what set me on the path to healing? Reading a book.

In I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, I recognized the pattern of grooming, earning a victim’s trust, manipulating them, and setting them up for the big event, because It all happened to me. 

And this was reinforced when I read The Bluest Eye and The Perks of Being a Wallflower, both books that discuss child molestation. 

These books are on the list of 120 provided to you by Moms for Liberty. 

Reading these books did not turn me into a child molester. They taught me that abuse happens every day and that I’m not alone. And as painful as those stories were to read, they helped me to finally accept that the abuse was not my fault. 

I learned how to take my power back from my abuser. I saw that healing was possible. 

And now in my practice of medicine, I help to empower my patients to recover from their own traumas, because the emotional aspects of healing are just as important as the physical. 

Reading books changes lives. Finding stories that resonate with yours helps lonely children feel validated and perhaps even a part of a community that they didn’t even know existed. 

Not all books with sexual content are smut and pornography. Most thoughtfully teach the reader lessons about the world and their own sexuality. 

I beg you to trust your educators to simply do their jobs. The ones with advanced degrees in literature and education who have actually read these books, not average citizens who can’t even pronounce the word library correctly. Stop this madness. Save the books. 

And I support the Community Equity Advisory Board, as I was supposed to be a part of this important group.

I had to make this as concise as possible, as the original version of my speech was over 5 minutes long. It had to be only 3 minutes, so I trimmed the content and spoke quickly!

I’ve had much practice telling my story, but I feel certain this is one perspective of books with sexually explicit content that the board hadn’t heard before. And although I’m pretty sure that they were listening without their ears, I did hear gasps from the audience when I mentioned that grooming happens in the church. 

I doubt that what I said made any bit of difference because these folks are only going to listen to the voices they want to hear, but at least I spoke my mind. And I will keep doing so, as now my kids are out of this system, and I have no fear of retaliation against them. 

Here’s to fighting the good fight!

___________

Are you aware of what is happening in your school board meetings? This nonsense is happening everywhere, as Moms for Liberty and groups like them are carefully planning school board takeovers. It’s time to get involved. 

As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.