I’m officially an empty nester
It’s Monday night. The house is quiet. It is clean. And there is a remarkable absence of an abundance of stuff. But it’s also lonely.
My babies have officially left the nest. Even the dog and cat have noticed and are extra clingy today.
They say that raising children is like teaching them how to ride a bike and letting go over and over and over again. That’s a great analogy.
I can hope that I’ve laid a good foundation of life and how to manage it, but I still want to hover over their lives and make sure everything will be ok, even though I know I can’t. I have practice with my older daughter, of course, as she is a senior this year. But my baby? Sigh. I still remember changing her diapers. How is she possibly an adult already?
I’m not anxious for my kids. My older one knows the routine, and it’s great that she will help my younger one adjust. And since I went to Longwood, I know what kind of experience they are having.
This weekend was all about starting their school years. We moved my older daughter into her apartment on Saturday, returned home, and traveled back to Longwood on Sunday to move in my younger daughter. That’s a lot of time driving. And moving stuff.
Saturday was more challenging than Sunday. It’s more stuff for an apartment than for just a dorm room. And Sunday we had help from some of the upperclassmen. That was great!
It was also two lunches out, two giant trips to Walmart, and a couple of tanks of gas. Yikes. My wallet may never recover.
As I walked the campus of my alma mater on Sunday alone, it truly hit me that the journey on which I am about to embark will be a bit lonely.
Of course, my wonderful husband will keep me company, but I will miss my kids. True, they aren’t kids anymore. They are officially adults. But they will forever be my babies.
It was strange to walk on Longwood’s campus by myself because so much has changed since I went to school there. Gone are the roads through the middle of campus. They have been replaced with grass, sidewalk, and gardens, all to make the campus more walkable and safer. I love it.
It will definitely be quieter. And there won’t be any boyfriends over for a while. And the house will stay cleaner. And meals will be simpler.
I’m already counting the days until they come home.
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Are you an empty nester, too? How did you manage? I’d love to hear your stories.
As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.
Anne the Vegan 
I’m not an empty nester. In fact, I hate the phrase. But I do remember when I left home, I was raised by grandmother (she passed away last year. I so miss her and that generation) Anyway, I will never forget the day I moved out. I had just put the last of my stuff in my car, and I asked her if she was upset that I was leaving. Having heard all these stories of drama, and this was in the 90s. We were standing in the kitchen in front of the sink. She looked at me and said, “No, this is what you’re supposed to do. I did it. My kids did it, and now it’s your turn. It’s what you’re supposed to do.” And with that, I got my keys turned around and left. I will never forget that day. That’s why I don’t understand or get it the empty nester thing. I was never witnessed to it. The phrase was not used.
But what I do know is 1) my grandmother had a life outside of us, 2) we knew our place in the lineup, and it was not first (God bless that generation)
So she and my grandfather were good when i moved out. I will say, however, that I grew up in the village from the time I hit the planet, and there were always eyes on me, even when I didn’t know. That continued when I moved out. I can remember coming home to my apartment (where only I was paying bills), and getting a call from my granddad sayin “so and so told me he saw you at such and such place” I’m like where? I can laugh about it now and probably did then, but he knew I was okay.
Now I know people will say, as they tend to do, especially these days, you don’t until you have kids, but I’m forever grateful for that day in the kitchen standing in front of the sink with my grandmother. She taught me a lot in that moment. I will never forget it.
So here’s to new adventures for you and your husband as your daughter do what they are supposed to as they find their footing, adventures, and designing their own lives.
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I’m very excited for my daughters to lives out their dreams. And you’re right. It’s what they are supposed to do. Just like we’re supposed to let go of that bike and let them ride on their own. 💚
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