How did it become evil?
Is talking about gossiping, in fact, gossiping?
And when did sharing information become such an evil act or character flaw?
It’s an interesting phenomenon and has deep roots in patriarchal thinking. Yes, leave it to men to try to take away the power of women. Sharing information is just that: power. Learning information helps us make better choices and navigate the world more easily. So why would men want to squelch this?
It’s pretty simple. If we get together and chat about the men, we will likely expose all of the bad things they do to us, making us tougher targets to usurp. Furthermore, sharing information about those more powerful than us can make it easier for us to gain power ourselves.
Do you see where this is going?
As early as the 1500s, the act of women talking to other women became a thing of suspicion, immorality, and suspected witchcraft. There was even a special muzzle called a scold’s bridle that was a form of punishment for women who engage in idle talk.
I mean, are you kidding me? A muzzle? With spikes to keep you from opening your mouth and speaking? This makes me think of The Handmaid’s Tale and the muzzles depicted in that Hulu series. It makes me shudder to think of it.
This makes it sound like it’s only women who engage in this seemingly egregious behavior, but research shows that gossip is an equal gender opportunity. Men, however, call their idle talk “serious conversation” at best, and “locker room talk” at worst, but all of their forms of gossip are deemed more appropriate than discussion among women.
When gossip is used as a vehicle for spreading lies about someone, as in bullying, this is, of course, a bad thing.
But gossip can also be a tool for warning others about potential harm, including by men or in the workplace. It’s no wonder that employers frown upon the practice.
What would your boss do if everyone found out that John makes more money than Susan, even though they have similar resumes and work experience? White women make 82 cents on the dollar for what men make in similar jobs.
Who benefits from silencing our voices? Those with power or who wish to do us harm.
In this time of major backlash against women, especially now that in the U.S. the bodily autonomy of women is no longer guaranteed, it’s high time we learn the truth about what we were taught about gossip.
It’s as if the fear of almost having a female President shook the patriarchy so much that the reflex was to strip women of all of their rights. It starts with our wombs. There has always been a way to quiet feminine voices, either by law, religion, or societal shaming. But it begins with our bodies.
Language is the very foundation of civilization. We must be able to freely share information that is fair and truthful without retaliation, or society will never make progress. Squelching the power of women to do so by shaming us into believing that gossip is sinful is just wrong.
So, ladies, speak up! Organize. Share information. Let’s take our power back!
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Did you know it was the patriarchy who developed the idea that gossip is bad? I’d love to hear your thoughts about the topic.
As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.
Anne the Vegan 