Rage Against the Patriarchy

I declare this the theme of 2024

Should we harbor a grudge against Eve? After all, she, with all of her womanly powers, convinced Adam to eat that apple. 

This biblical parable was the beginning of the tripe that women are cunning, evil, immoral, and need to be controlled, and women are still paying the price for Eve’s fictional crimes. 

Throughout history, women have been relegated to subservient roles to men. We are supposed to be good girls: meek, obedient, modest, and humble. But we should also be beautiful, nice, and nurturing. Any deviation from these societal standards is to make scorning us permissible. 

The infamous witch trials of the late 1600s in Salem, Massachusetts was a great example where women became the scapegoat for the maladies of society, reinforcing the idea that we should not hold positions of power or be outspoken. 

As times progressed, women became more educated. In the U.S., our great-grandmothers fought for our right to vote in 1920. Our grandmothers and mothers fought for our rights to abortion access, to have credit cards independent of a man, and for the no-fault divorce, all of which weren’t a thing until the 1970s. It wasn’t until 1978 that it became illegal to fire a woman for being pregnant. Although we never successfully passed the Equal Rights Amendment, we still made significant progress in fighting for equality with men. 

Education is empowering. There’s nothing more dangerous to the patriarchy than intelligent, well-informed women. As an educated woman, perhaps this is why the backlash feels so shocking.

Never would I have imagined the major backtracking of women’s rights in the United States that we have seen over the past 2 years which has coincided with the rise in the Christian Nationalist movement. 

With the reversal of the Roe vs. Wade decision in 2022, it’s clear that we have lost the right to bodily autonomy. Looking at Texas, it’s become a literal nightmare for women who need life-saving medical care. And now women are being imprisoned for having a miscarriage. Our uteruses are officially more regulated than guns.

We all know the rules would be different if it were men who were the magical incubators of human life. I don’t even think it’s possible for men to truly understand what a massive undertaking it is to grow a human. You could die.

Conservative lawmakers won’t stop here. They also want to take away medications that induce miscarriage in the early weeks of pregnancy and limit some forms of birth control. Some states are also looking at taking away the no-fault divorce. 

Ah, yes. Let’s revert back to the world where a woman’s place was to be barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen, and she had so few rights that she had no choice but to rely on a man for support or tolerate abuse. 

Shockingly, there seems to be a rising movement of the traditional wife and its companion, the stay-at-home girlfriend. I don’t get it. As someone who holds a Master’s degree, I’m baffled by the phenomenon of embracing submissiveness. Social media exploits these roles, making it seem glamorous to obey and serve one’s male partner. 

This brings about another manifestation of the tricks of the patriarchy: pitting women against women. This is a game as old as time. As a Gen Xer, I’ve lived this dichotomy of working women vs. stay-at-home moms. And we are simply damned if we work, damned if we don’t. We even criticize each other for the supposed crimes of either choice. There are no winners in such a moronic battle.  

What’s worse is that in this modern world, women are expected to do all the things: be a fantastic mother, work full time, clean the house, and still manage to look beautiful. Yes, some husbands are willing participants in parenting and household management, but this isn’t always the case. And if they do help, they are bestowed an abundance of praise.

Women are scorned for so much in this world. We can’t be sexual, but sexuality also sells. We should be nice girls. We shouldn’t be assertive. We shouldn’t dissent, show anger or fear, or say no to unwanted attention. We should dress a certain way. We should remain beautiful for our husbands, or he has the right to leave us. If we don’t follow tradition and get married and have children, we are criticized. We can’t even have tubal ligation without the permission of a husband. We are supposed to smile if a man addresses us, but that smile is also read as an invitation for a man to make sexual advances. If a man buys us dinner, we should assume that he has bought his right to have sex with us. We should listen to mansplaining with eager eyes and appreciative head nods, and then say thank you for pointing out our stupidity. 

Hell, even the concept of gossip being a bad thing was meant to silence our complaints and warnings to each other about bad men and to squelch our power. It has nothing to do with being nice, but in controlling us. There is power in the unification of gender. Men know this and exploit this, but they don’t want women to have the same benefits. 

We elected a president who openly admits to sexually assaulting women, ignores the sanctity of marriage, incited an insurrection, and spearheaded the decline in women’s rights. And yet despite these egregious facts, some people believe that he was chosen by God to lead America.  He embodies the patriarchy. He is the patriot of the theocracy movement despite his immorality blatantly on display. And yet the chance that he will become president again is very real. 

Aren’t we all tired of this game? 

I don’t want to live in a society governed by archaic, religious, Puritan rules. We earned our equality, and we deserve to keep it. We must preserve our rights for our daughters and granddaughters. 

It’s time to rage, ladies. This year will be crucial in deciding the fate of our gender in the U.S. Will we vote for leaders who will help us regain our rights, or will we let our de-evolution to a theocracy proceed without a fight? 

___________

Yes, I know. Not all men. But I’m strictly discussing societal norms as a whole and observations of trends. And in the collective safety of the gender of women, ALL women, we have learned to navigate a world where we must treat men as guilty until proven innocent as a means for safety and survival. That’s just a fact. 

And, yes, I’m fortunate to have a husband who takes pride in protecting me from harm. But the point is that our world should be safe enough that I don’t need this. 

How many men have to think about where they walk, how safe they will be at night, or wait to engage with the outside world until they have a companion? Do men think about how to carry their keys in their hands a certain way, ready to become a weapon? Do men have to deal with catcalls while out for a walk? Do men have to apologize for showing anger? No, they don’t. Even in accusations of sexual assault, it’s not the man who is on trial. It’s the woman or girl. 

Hypervigilance is the way of life for women.

I’ve had enough. How about you?

As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.