Run the Mile You’re In

My new mantra for life as I learn to live in the present.

A wise running coach once taught his marathoners that when the run gets tough, just run the mile you’re in. 

It’s such a simple metaphor for life, right?

I mean, how much time do we spend ruminating about the past while simultaneously future-tripping? 

This was my life before trauma rehab. And, yes, it was exhausting. I still have to pull my brain out of those old thinking patterns consciously, and it’s tough. 

If we think about this metaphor for running an actual marathon, it’s easy to build the story about this journey. 

Perhaps you didn’t prepare well enough for the race, making mistakes in prep like not training properly, eating poorly in the days before the race, or walking up late that morning. 

Maybe you are too worried about what happens after the race. Will there still be pizza and beer when you finally finish? How far is the walk to my car? Did my car get towed? Will my family be on the route? 

But inevitably, your mind will become very preoccupied with pain, especially as the effort of running those miles piles onto your body. It helps to try to shift your thoughts toward what is in the present. Observing your surroundings is just one way to do so. 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…

What, exactly, are these things? The weather, for one. The challenge of hills on the route. The presence of crowds or the lack thereof. 

The courage to change the things I can…

You are certainly responsible for your attitude. Easier said than done when your legs are screaming, begging you to stop your efforts. I will typically keep repeating to myself, “One foot in front of the other. Every step is closer to the finish.” 

Can you change how tired you feel? You can use your supplements, take in water and electrolytes, or take a walk break, all of which can improve the fatigue factor. One of my favorite glucose replacements is a fun pack of Skittles, which I always look forward to eating! 

Music can also inspire you to keep moving. I will use music as a reward in the final miles of a run to help keep me motivated to move forward. 

And the wisdom to know the difference. 

Enough said. 

In life, there are many things we cannot change. Especially what other people think of us. We also can’t relive our childhoods and hope for better. We can’t change how people hurt us in the past or the resulting injustices. 

What can we change? We can begin to resolve our anger about these injustices. Not that we don’t have the right to be angry, because we certainly do. But when we begin to release that anger, whether it’s through processing the trauma, using the gifts of anger to channel the emotion toward the greater good (through activism, for example), or by letting it out in healthy ways (like with exercise, journaling, or in therapy), we can begin to heal from it. 

Injustices against us are not our fault. It’s one of the toughest lessons to learn. And when people in our lives urge us to simply get over it, minimize our suffering, or tell us that our response to said injustices is out of proportion, they are wrong. 

No one gets to tell you how you feel about your traumas. No one.

It’s so easy, though, to get stuck into that loop of negative self-talk, as though the universe is out to get you. Some days, it may seem that way. But those voices are wrong.

I’m learning to live in the present. I’m trying to appreciate what I have in this moment, the things around me that make me smile and feel loved, and gain a sense of understanding that I am deserving of good from this world, simply because I exist. 

It’s also easy to minimize our suffering and compare our lives to those who have it far worse than us, especially in times of war or other unrest. But we cannot help others until we help ourselves. 

I’m guilty of pouring my heart out to help others while ignoring my own needs. It’s as if by fixing the trauma of others, I can fix myself. It’s what healthcare providers do. 

But most of all, I must remember to breathe, give myself space to feel, and use the gifts of these feelings to improve my life. 

You can do this, too. Because you are worth it. 

___________

My path to healing is just beginning. And although it’s scary to change my patterns of thinking, I hope to start living with joy instead of fear.

As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.