Under Pressure

Battling my new diagnosis of hypertension

I just checked my blood pressure. It is 178/108. Yikes.

Yes, I forgot to take my meds this morning, so my little blue pill went down the hatch. No, not that little blue pill. Losartan.

This has been my life since the shooting. And as much as I hate taking meds AND knowing the cause of my sudden issues with hypertension is exactly what every woman hears whenever they have a problem and goes to the doctor, I don’t have much of a choice. How fun to fit our patriarchal healthcare system’s stereotype. 

Anxiety is a dangerous foe. And I really hate that it seems to be the reason why I’m dealing with blood pressure issues now. 

There is no other reason for this sudden roller coaster ride of my pressure going up and down other than anxiety. Until November, I was very active, working out 3-5 days a week, mostly by running. This means my resting heart rate is low at 51. My vegan diet makes my cholesterol low at 160. My lifestyle simply doesn’t support this new diagnosis. And it also makes finding a solution to the problem extremely challenging. 

A low resting heart rate eliminates an entire class of drugs to manage blood pressure, as beta-blockers lower your heart rate. 

My normal blood pressure is typically 120/70, which is great. The sudden spikes from anxiety don’t seem to have a specific trigger. But if my head begins to hurt, that’s my first clue that my pressure is rising. 

Maybe my anxiety is so bad because I had to return to living in the place where the shooting happened. I’m unable to escape reliving the trauma since it happened in my bedroom and on my side of the room. As much as I can rationalize this externally, my body screams something else.

I know that having dangerously high blood pressure puts me at risk of having a hemorrhagic stroke. With my cholesterol so low, it’s much less likely that I will have an ischemic stroke, which is the cause of 87% of cases of cerebrovascular accidents. Hemorrhagic strokes are usually more dangerous. 

I treat patients who have suffered strokes. I don’t want this to be my life. So, I take the meds. 

When my pressure is dangerously high, I have clonidine to keep me out of the emergency room. But it makes me feel drunk, so I’m done for the day once I take it, which is frustrating. 

Yes, I was instructed to go straight to the ER if I have both a severe headache and a significant spike in my blood pressure, which makes me feel as if I’m a ticking time bomb. But I’m a healthcare provider. There’s no way I will waste money on an ER visit if I can help it. 

On the opposite side of hypertension is hypotension, or low blood pressure. When I’ve taken my morning meds and am relatively unstressed, my BP swings low. This makes activities like bending over to put a leg rest on a wheelchair, something I do frequently at work, a dizzying task. 

I have an entirely new perspective on my patients who deal with unregulated blood pressure. When your body works to extremes to maintain homeostasis, it’s exhausted. I had some idea this is what my patients experienced, but now I actually know.

On the days when I work, I’m typically so fatigued that I need to take a long nap once I get home. This is not me. I’m used to going for runs after work, not getting better acquainted with my bed or sofa. 

The only strategy I have left is to find other ways to better manage my anxiety, which likely means I’ll have to add yet another medication to my regimen. I’m not super excited about that prospect. 

In good news on my path to healing, I did find a lawyer to represent me in a civil case against my neighbors. I’m hoping for a fair outcome. 

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Do you deal with hypertension caused by anxiety? Do you have any tips to share?

As always, I hope you all are safe and healthy.